I have a real problem with things living up to my expectations, well honestly not just things or events, but people too. Physically, being pregnant has been great, but it has taken a toll on other areas of my life that I didn't really anticipate i.e. some of my friendships. There are a couple that are dying, if not completely dead. I 'expected' that these people would be life long friends, I 'expected' that we could all move in different directions, and remain as close as we once were. I guess I have been watching too much Sex and the City! Has getting married and getting pregnant fundamentally changed who I am? I don't know. It doesn't feel like it; besides not bitching about bad dates and getting drunk I don't think I'm any different than the 'before' me. Who knows?
This is by far the happiest I have ever been in my entire life, but there are still parts that are missing. Is it like the 'triangle theory' where if two areas of your life are great the third will always be a mess? I have the great relationship, I'm going to finally be able to quit working, but the friendships are a wreck?! Is this just some kind of cosmic balancing act? Does anyone have it all?
The good news is I have found something that COMPLETELY exceeded all of expectations so maybe I'm not doomed to be eternally insatiable and annoying! Anyway, last night for some reason I decided to poke the baby. Well, I poked and poked THEN she BUMPED me back!!!! I felt it from the outside!!! AMAZING!!!! So, I kept poking her and she would bump back every time! I laughed and laughed and then cried a little bit. How in the world did I get so lucky?
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