Sigh. I am still infertile. I was reading another infertile's blog today. She had a picture of a gyno exam table complete with stirrups, and the headline "Where the Magic Happens." It made me cry...not dainty tears, but full out sobbing at my desk. That's where our 'magic' happened too; in an office, on a table, not at home, not just the two of us.
Yes, I am pregnant now. Yes, I am beyond grateful everyday. Yes, I am lucky. Unfortunately, the hurt and fear is still there just below the surface. Sometimes, when people ask me when I am due I have to put in a disclaimer, "Well, if everything works out." This, of course, makes people stare at you like you are CRAZY person.
I am already planning out when we need to start treatments again. What if things aren't so easy next time? MH just wants to forget. So, here I am. Alone. I still don't feel like a 'success story,' but I don't really fit in with those who are still fighting the good fight.
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Hi - I'm just a couple of weeks behind you (19w4d today, courtesy of IVF)) I also add the same disclaimer when people ask when I am due, etc. I stopped saying it out loud though only because people thought I was nuts and then would tell me how negative I was being, etc... but the 'disclaimer' always goes through my mind. People just don't seem to understand.
I've also thought about how soon I can start treatments again (disclaimer going through my mind...) to try for a second. You're not alone - there are more of us out there than you realize.
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