I really want to to give up right now. I feel like I'm never going to have a child, maybe I'm not meant to be a mother. I just celebrated my 27th birthday. Another year has gone by without a baby. This year I thought I was going to be pregnant on my birthday instead I had a steak and a glass of wine, what a consolation...
I try to count my blessings. I know I am young, have low FSH, have a normal uterus, and both my tubes, but having a miscarriage is a terrible double-edged sword. You can get pregnant, but what if there is something else wrong that makes staying pregnant impossible.
I'm terrified right now. Terrified of starting over and trying again, and equally scared that I might give up. I don't feel strong enough to keep doing this. How do you keep the faith? I want to be positive, but I'm having a hard time. Now, when I see babies I don't think 'someday,' I think 'never, not me.' It's sad. I hate feeling this way. I need to feel hopeful again, but I can't.
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2 comments:
I am sure you have heard it all before and don't want to hear it again. I have a friend who tried for 7 YEARS to get pregnant. She went through treatments, IVF, surgeries, hormone therapies, etc. She never thought it would happen and was in complete despair - and it happened. No one knows why or how. But it did. She was 34 when she finally got pregnant, and her little girl is growing up. I know it's frustrating, but there are some things in life we can't plan, buy, arrange, make happen. It's life. It's A life. I wish you the best with family planning, but wanted you to know that sometimes the darkest clouds will part.
You are made of stronger stuff than that. You have shown enormous determination and ability to seek good resources to help you. This may be a longer trip than you thought, but it ain't over yet!
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