That Girl...

You all know who 'that girl' is, but you swear that you'll never be her. You scoff at 'that girl' who calls her boyfriend a 100 times a night becoming a little more shrewish each time until she finally screams 'Where are youuuuuuu? Why don't you love meeeeeee?' into his voicemail at three o'clock in the morning. You roll your eyes at 'that girl' who dismisses every sign he's just not that into her...'It's only been 4, 057 hours and 11 minutes, he'll call! We had a connection!" You laugh out loud when you hear 'that girl' say, 'make love, soul mate, my heart hurts, he's the one, or he promised not to do that ever again because he loves me.' Then something shifts, you've been arrogant for too long, you thought you were impervious... you've become 'that girl.'
It probably starts off innocently...you're excited, but then you can't stop. Things fly out of your mouth...you hear yourself say things like 'cosmic and true love' in the same sentence. You vow to stop, but you're too far gone...

Well, I have become 'that girl.' I am long past finding 'true love.' Hopefully, I have found my 'soul mate' (ick I can't even type that with a straight face) since I am doing these GD fertility treatments. I think I am probably the foulest of all varieties of 'that girlness' that BABY girl!

When I was planning my wedding I found this website called The Knot. It had helpful hints, a good planning checklist, and message boards where you could post questions to people who honestly cared if your napkins where the right shade to match the tablecloths and how to word your invitations. Your friends love you, but they don't care...seriously they don't and it's OK! Anyway this site gave way to The Nest. On The Nest you can talk about marriage, houses, having babies, and all the other things that your friends (who love you) don't want to talk about. They don't know or care if you lawn person is ripping you off! So since I have plenty of time on my hands at work I read these things. I don't really post questions, but I am a voyeur what can I say! Also, I will always be thankful because this is how I found out about reproductive endocrinologists, and I have a wonderful support system of other infertiles. I promise I am making a point. There is a board called Babies on the Brain...all of these women are 'that girl.' Examples: 'Do U like the name Kayden or Brayden? It won't hurt my feelings if U don't ;)!' or 'It's been 2 months still not PG-Freaking out!' or ' Is it gross to give my PG test to my husband to tell him we're PG?!'

So I've smirked at 'those girls' all the while feeling very superior. Now I'm just an infertile subspecies of 'that girl.' Let's see here this week alone I have broken every single rule I made for myself in discussing my 'issues.' I have talked about my cervical mucus to all my lovely friends, talked about sex with my mother, talked about my temperatures to anyone with ears, said the words 'baby making sex,' left work to have baby making sex, called the doctors 3x to discuss ovulation, looked at baby stuff online, ate a hot dog because the 'egg' needed it and said this out loud to MH, bought a hokey gift to tell MH when we get PG, peed on multiple sticks to make sure I was ovulating (yes, just ovulating not PG), and I committed what in my mind are the cardinal sins --I shoved my pee sticks in MH's face and then took pictures of them (these were only ovulation tests not PG tests)!!!!!

So what's a girl to do....

PS I did not post the pics on this blog though so HA maybe I'm not really 'that girl'!