I woke up feeling nervous this morning so I had to (yes, really had to) POAS again. It was of course still positive and darker than yesterday's. In general I'm feeling much more positive about this pregnancy. I think because I got such an early BFP (big f'ing positive), and because Femara tends to make better quality eggs versus Clomid. I read an article that studied 200 women, and 100% of the women who had later implantation (after 12dpo) subsequently had a miscarriage. I'm hoping that the problem last time was only late implantation.
I still have that niggling worry in the back of my head, though. I will never again be completely innocent. I'm very worried about this being a healthy pregnancy, but I think at some level I am still in denial about actually being pregnant which seems to dull the worry a bit.
I have my first beta blood work on Monday. I'm just a little nervous about it. I hope that the number is nice and high, but the next beta is on Wednesday. I'm more worried about Wednesday's because it is critical to determining viability. The numbers should double in 48-72 hrs. Of course, we had perfect doubling last time so I am really hoping to make it until Feb. 6th that will be a milestone. Then I want to make it to the first u/s, and have a healthy heartbeat. So it looks like I will continue to wait and wait.
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