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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Retroactive Post V: 4w1d Scared and Excited

I had my first blood draw today. I hope my numbers are nice and high. I won't find out until tomorrow. The number on Wednesday is even more important. My RE likes to see it go up by 60%. The number should double in 48-72 hours so it's going to be a long, tense wait in our house.



The fear began to set in this morning. I've run to the bathroom and checked my underwear for blood about 25 times today. I'm trying so hard not to give in to this fear and let it consume me. I'm trying to enjoy every second that I am pregnant. I don't feel as connected with this baby/embryo whatever you want to call it. I still feel like this isn't even happening. Don't get me wrong I sometimes have flashes where I let myself daydream. I've daydreamed about telling my mom. I can't wait to tell her. I can't wait to tell my grandma; she will be so tickled...this will be her first great-grandchild. See, I can be positive! I want this so badly.

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