60 and counting...

Well, as I am sure all of you want to know the intimate details of my life; I haven't gotten my period in 60 days! My cycles seem to be getting longer and longer. It sucks! Why won't my body just do what it is supposed to do?! Argh!!!!

Now I am beginning to freak out that there is something wrong with me as well. I keep telling myself that I have been under a lot of stress since we left Boston, and now this situation is not making it any better.

I think I must be in serious denial about certain aspects of my personality because if you asked me I would tell you, in most cases, that I am not feeling stressed at all, and that I'm not really prone to stress. Well, I now have concrete, physical evidence to the contrary. I went to my mom's a couple of weeks ago, and went through some old school papers and mementos that she finally organized. I found a certificate from my fifth grade teacher...it said "Most Likely to Get in a Wad" and further down "Bound to Achieve Greatness if She Doesn't have a Nervous Breakdown First." How depressing is that!!!! Well, I haven't exactly achieved greatness, but I haven't a nervous breakdown either so I guess I'm doing OK.

Of course, stress is a vicious cycle for me because now I am stressing myself out by judging how well I am de-stressing. I feel like a lunatic!

Here's my review of various de-stressing techniques:

Meditation: I bought a book, candles, music... the whole she-bang. I was ready to breathe my way into mental health and relaxation. So I sat in Lotus position (which made my feet fall asleep) breathed and pictured a beach...I did this for about three minutes and it was relaxing. Then thoughts crept in; all the what-ifs had a clear mind to work with. There was no clutter to push them out. Thus, ended mediation.

Yoga: I rented a tape by Rodney Yee. He looked like he knew what he was doing even though his body was completely hairless. I can't imagine the time it takes to get him fully waxed! Also, I was disconcerted by his tiny shorts and misshapen bulge in the crotchal area. OK, so I do the tape and while I do feel more limber I'm not sure how people feel relaxed. You're laying on the ground trying to see what Rodney is doing there is no time to relax!

Sleeping pill and anti-anxiety drug: Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!!! My white 'doll' and my blue 'doll' are the only way I achieve any form of relaxation. They make the whole world melt away and allow me to sleep through the night. (I, in no way endorse the abuse of medication. Use only with a doctor's Rx and follow their instructions.)


Things on my list to try: acupuncture, aromatherapy, and hypnosis.

P.S. My new gyno (that I love, love, love...she actually listens and takes me seriously) is having me start Provera today to get my errant period to co-operate.